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(That remaining 1 out of 10 has done you the favor of self-selecting out of your dating pool and you should be grateful that you don’t need to deal with them.) When you’re treating your lack of dates or sexual activity as a crime perpetuated against you by the universe, it makes you considerably less attractive to… If you dig into women’s about how they behave and the attitudes they had towards themselves, towards women and towards relationships. There’s two ways that making excuses doesn’t help you.
First and foremost is trying to rationalize away your inexperience.
If you venture into any Forever Alone or incel community like /r9k/, you’ll see hundreds of people lamenting how much sex they’ve never had and how the world is conspiring against them.
That’s not taking ownership of being socially inexperienced; that’s making it the core of your identity and letting it overtake your life.
You don’t need to explain or justify it; trying to find reasons why it’s less “shameful” than others’ just reinforces the idea that there’s something shameful about it in the first place.
In fact, the younger you are, the odds higher are that you’re actually going to have fewer partners than previous generations.
The difference is deceptively simple, but it makes a world of difference.
See, one of the fears of being inexperienced is that your potential partners will see it as a negative.
When you write a dating advice column, one of the inevitable questions that comes up is the idea of inexperience.
For many men, especially as they get older, dating inexperience is a vicious catch-22.
Just because the last 40 women you made out with liked the Swirly-Go-Round doesn’t mean that it’s not going to make your partner’s skin crawl. Do your research where you can (here’s a great place to start…), take some risks, make some mistakes.